The Greenspan-Gardner Hypothesis suffers another cruel blow:
I know this isn't a funny story, but this is really just too hysterical for words:
Duncan said to keep the "gifted and intelligent woman with superior intelligence" in prison would be "little more than warehousing" her, something Canada's youth laws oppose.
True. Or it might be "little more" than punishing her, but I understand that's something that "Canada's youth laws oppose" as well.
She has been accepted at the University of Waterloo for programs in science and engineering with a scholarship for the fall term. For now, she will take courses online using the halfway house computer.
Nice.
The woman, whose identity remains protected by Canada's youth laws, smiled when she heard Duncan's decision.
I'll bet she did, the charmer.
She was the driving force behind their mother's murder and held her head under the bathtub water for four minutes.
True, but she is also a "gifted and intelligent woman with superior intelligence", so she's, I guess, intelligent-squared. And, really, who are we as a society to hold a "gifted and intelligent woman with superior intelligence" in jail just because one night she happened to, say, kill her mother by drowning her in the bathtub?
This is the best part, though:
But it's important for society to understand she will not be "let out," Duncan said.
No, no, god forbid we misconstrue what's happening as her being "let out" - her freedom to attend university is entirely not a characteristic of somebody who has been "let out".
"She will be under a different form of custody," he said.
Yes, the "not in custody" form of custody.
"She has completed every available program (in prison)," Duncan said. "In respect of her rehabilitation, there is little or nothing left for her and by extension for society."
Right. What about, say, punishment? Is there "little or nothing left for her and by extension for society" in that?
She will be going from a cottage-style living environment in prison to a halfway house where she will be under the restrictions of the home but with greater opportunities for rehabilitation and re-integration into society, he said.
Oh, now I get it: she's not being "let out", because she wasn't ever really "in" to begin with - she was hanging out in a "cottage-style living environment".
But the good news never ends!
They will be eligible to apply for full federal parole Oct. 29, 2009 with their mandatory release after serving two-thirds of her sentence on March 11, 2013.
Yay!
Ah yes, the "well, she didn't kill any mothers while we were watching her really closely" sentence. By all means, lets go easy on her...
Posted by: James Goneaux | June 24, 2009 at 12:54 AM
"Duncan said to keep the "gifted and intelligent woman with superior intelligence" in prison would be "little more than warehousing" her, something Canada's youth laws oppose."
That was some "gift" she gave her mother, wasn't it?
Our society is doomed.
Posted by: Mike H | June 25, 2009 at 01:43 AM
Do I have to murder someone to get a scholarship at a University?? I have tried everything else.
Posted by: Stefan | June 25, 2009 at 07:10 AM